Back Posting After Long Hiatus.

Hi all! I hope you're well. I wonder if anyone will still read this as it is now 2016 and the last time I posted it was 2013. Oh well. Thanks for 60 folllowers, if I'm not following you back, just comment.

I'm 19 years old now, currently still suffering from my EDNOS after having been recovered for almost 3 years after seeing countless therapists. I weigh 99lbs right now, at 5'2". My BMI is 18.1. I'm still sad girl, with a loving boyfriend. Anyway, thank you for continuing to follow me on this journey in my life. I'm grateful to everyone whos supported me since I started this blog. xxx

I don't know. (Hi guys, I'm back)

I don't what I weigh.

I don't know that I care.

I don't want to eat.

This is the cycle I can't break.

The ABC diet. Day 1: 500 calories.

Yes, yes.. I know. Shame on me. This is probably the 4th time I've tried this diet, I think the thing about it is that life never seems to go as planned to go with the calorie limits. But here I am trying again.

Current Weight: 97.8lbs
Weight lost: 0lbs
Overall Weight lost: 0lbs (so far anyway)

Today's Intake:
Calorie Limit: 500
Total Eaten: 320
Can of tuna: 100
2 slices of toast: 130
2 table spoons of light mayonnaise: 90

All I did exercise wise today was 35 jumping jacks, 15 push-ups, 25 crunches, and 10 leg lifts on each side. But I do that daily so I don't count it for anything plus I have no idea how many calories tha burns up. I think I'm about to run on the treadmill for about 30 minutes until my shower, I don't know how many calories that'll subtract.. I suppose I'll let you know when I post tomorrow, until then love you all, give me your support, and if you want to join me on this 50 day journey.. feel free to commetn about it and if I'm not already following your blog I will and I'll make sure to comment on your crap daily! and if you're already doing it... well let me know too. (;

Stay Strong,
Jordan.

The Judgement.

I've never felt more... alone, confused, fat, and useless. If you know me, you know one of my worst fears is being a fake, a copy cat. Well now you can just imagine my utter breakdown when I took a 'Self Harm Quiz' on Quizilla and this, THIS, was my result: "attention seeking....you are the reason self harmers get such a bad name.you are taking it too far by trying to make people notice you...are you really that pathetic and desperate?!? Because of you ppl like us are not getting the treatment and help they actually NEED. They just get laughed at. Thanks, you shithead."

I never do anything like this for attention. Never. But I believed everyt word. I haven't cried so hard for quite awhile. I haven't cut so much for quite awhile. I am pathetic. The Quiz Maker was so right. I'm just an attention seeking whore. Nothing more. I'm a fake. I'm worthless... I just want it all to end.

On a brighter note I suppose, I have a boyfriend. His name is Ronnie, in my grade, and he's gorgeous. I'm so lucky. I'm not even quite sure how it happened... It just did. And I'm grateful. But somehow, still so lonely....

I've got nothing to say about my weight except that I'm still huge, nothing more to really add there. Haven't hopped on my scale yet. And I just bought a Hollister bikini yesterday. So afraid to wear it out. Anxiety kicking in... I need to get over myself.

The University of Miranda MiaAna. L3. Work-Out Fanatic.

Work-out Fanatic:

The Work-out Fanatic course gives you a list of how many calories you need to burn each day (you are to burn more than 600 calories every day at least)

Weekly Check-ins: You will submit a chart of your exercises and calories burned at the end of every week (categorized into the days of the week)

Homework: Every Thursday you will be given a number of calories to be burned and turn in a list of exercises you can do (including specific time lengths, reps, etc.) to burn that number of calories.

Finals: You will be given a number for each day of a week and you will submit a list of exercises you can do (including specific time lengths, reps, and etc.) to burn that number of calories for each day of the week.

The University of Miranda MiaAna. L3. Point System Perfectionist.

Point System Perfectionist:

For the Point System Perfectionist you will be given a list of how many points you earn in these categories: food, exercise, water, and challenge.

Point System Perfectionist Chart:

Calorie Points:

Fasting (including water): 25

Liquid Fasting: 17 Points

100-199: 15

200-299: 13

300-399: 10

400-499: 9

500-599: 8

600-699: 4

700-799: 3

800-899: 2

900-999: 1

1000-1099: -3

1100-1199: -4

1200-1299: -5

1300-1399: -6

1400-1499: -7

1500 and up: -20

Water (8-9 oz) Points:

20 and up: 30

11-19: 22

9-10: 15

8:10

7:8

6:6

5:5

4:3

3:1

2: -3

1 or 0: -10

Exercise Points:

1 hour aerobics: 10

100 sit-ups: 5

150 jumping jacks: 5

12 ten second stretches: 5

12 rep weights 2-5: 5

12 rep weights 6-10: 10

Leg Lifts (20 each):1

Arm Exercises (30 each): 2

12 rep Toning exercise: 5

Lunges (30): 2

Challenge Points (only once a day):

Only drink water: 5

Compliment Someone: 2

Help Someone out: 2

No late assignments (only on school days): 10

Shower or Bathe: 5

Perfect Mani and Pedi: 2

Make-up: 2

Hair Styled (anything but straight down): 2

Wear all clean clothes: 5

Take all medicine/ Vitamins: 10

150 points in one day: 5

All homework done: 10

Clean Room: 10

Read for 10 minutes: 5

Weekly Check-ins: You will submit a list of all food consumed and of the calories you’ve taken in at the end of each week.

Finals: You will need to submit a report of all the foods and calories consumed during the entire term.

Hard Core Fasting:

In the Hard Core Fasting course you will eb given an ABC diet to complete throughout term.

Weekly Check-ins: You will submit a list of all food consumed on the calorie days of your ABC diet at the end of each week.

Finals: You are to add up all the calories you have consume through the term.

The Universoty of Miranda MiaAna. L2. Liquid Fasting.

Liquid Fasting:

Simply put, the liquid fasting course involves only drinking liquids every other day of the week.

Weekly Check-ins: You will need to turn in a chart of the calories you have consumed each week (categorized into days of the week)

Homework: Every 3 days I will give you a beverage to look up, and you need to give me the nutrition facts of that beverage.

Finals: You will be required to write an essay on the benefits of drinking water (in general). 5 paragraph format.

Work-out System:

The work-out system is simple. You work out every day, and add up how many calories you have burned.

Weekly Check-ins: You will need to chart how many calories you burn each week to turn into the dean (categorized into days of the week)

Homework: Every Thursday I will give you a list of exercises done by ‘someone’ in one day and you are to research and report to the dean how many calories that person has burned.

Finals: At the end of the term you will be given a list of exercises done by ‘somenone’ within a whole week. You will need to research and report how many calories that oerson bured throughout the week.